Christ And Stories. > Fruit of the spirit > Did you know your tone of voice causes 90% of all your conflict?

It is said 10% of conflict is due to the difference of opinion, 90% is due to the wrong tone of voice. Graceful Speech tone of voice is the best one.

Did you know your tone of voice causes 90% of all your conflict?

Posted on: January 23, 2017

“Let your speech “always” be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you need to answer each one “(Colossians 4:6)


It is said 10% of conflict is due to difference of opinion, 90% is due to the wrong tone of voice.

Wow! That tells us our tone of voice is paramount.


Colossians 4:6 can be our tone-check. Did you know, every-time we speak, our heart is on parade!


Even as I write these words I cannot speak, because I have misused my voice for a long time now.

You wondering how?

Extremely loud voice and wrong tone. Yes. The doctor calls it “vocal abuse”.

Graceful Speech Tone

An excessive loud voice and yelling can lead to vocal difficulties, just like improper weight lifting can lead to back injuries.

Using the wrong tone and pitch creates wrong frequencies in your vocal cords with will lead to swelling and lets not forget ‘conflict’.


10% of conflicts are due to difference of opinion, 90% are due to wrong tone of voice. Click To Tweet


The Bible reminds us in Proverbs 15:1 ‘ A soft answer turns away wrath.’


If your voice is an instrument for God, then God wants us to produce sweet music- not harsh tones.

Our tone of voice reveals our attitude and brings to the surface any pride, resentment, un-forgiveness, impatience.

*click on Image to pinit

Have you ever said the right words but in a wrong tone?

We say sorry, but sarcastically, just to let the other person know that it is their fault not ours. Totally defeats the purpose and that’s when all hell breaks loose…


We have forgotten the art of speaking softly. Click To Tweet


Your children will not always listen to the words you speak, but they will surely do what you do.

They will pick up your way of talking and imitate the wrong tone of voice, pitch and sarcasm.


A famous theologian once said ‘raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.’


I still have much to learn about tone of voice my voice.

But this I can say, God has begun a work in me.


Do you yell at your kids or other’s around you?

What could you do to stop?



Declare with me

The Lord teaches me to say the right thing at the right time. (Proverbs 15:23)

I think carefully before speaking.(Proverbs 15:28Nlt)

I open my tongue with wisdom and on my tongue is the law of kindness.(Proverbs 31:26)



Pray with me

Lord teach me to have always have a soft answer that turns away wrath. Give me the tongue of the wise.

Let my tongue be gentle and filled with love and healing.

Make me slow to anger and teach me to respond with grace. Heal old soul-wounds with your power and let me not re do out of past hurts and offences.

Cleanse my tongue right now Lord in Jesus name. Amen.


“There should be no yelling in the home unless there is a fire” – David O Mckay


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Comments ( 2 )

  1. Akshay Anantpure

    Amen to this!!! The tone of voice is so important!!
    We have many examples where our tone of voice can say many things – just by listening to a simple “hello” from the other side of the phone we can get a hint of the other person’s mood.
    Also, when you enter a place where there has just been an argument with loud voices, one can feel some uncomfortable difference in the environment.
    Bless you to share something like this with us which we can use in our daily lives.

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